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Thursday, November 10, 2005

-Face the Music-

Patience is the ability and willingness to endure a task that takes a long time, especially one that is boring. It also means not easily getting angry or not showing anger in situations of human communication where the other is unreasonable. Lately, it is also something that I'm lack of..

Being home most of the time is really a full time job.. I'm the President of Patience, an establishment of which I'm about to resign in a few days time..(which I hope I won't-as it will be a result of me bursting into flames!) That is one of the reasons why I need to get out, for long hours, to runaway..

But the question now is, how far can I run? how fast can I run? how long can I run? where can I run to? Well, in the end, the answer is simple.. Face the Music! Wherever I'll be, I'm still part of the establishment, so, there's no way out, no place to hide..

Gotta bear in mind too, that someone needed to keep the family in tact, someone also need to take the most difficult responsibility in reminding, rebuilding the family, set as an example to others (as people don't tend to listen to advises from someone that they think does not fit the bill) no matter how much it hurts. It has never been an easy task, but the beauty of it is - it is a very good episode of learning the hardship of life, helped me to rebuild my strength to try harder in the future.

It is heart-breaking when you're trying very hard to help and to improve, but nobody is listening, nobody to give you a hand.

Yes, I'm sensitive at heart, that's what my star described me as a Virgo. I cried alot because of what others do or didn't do. I cried because of people around me, how inconsiderate people are nowadays, how insensitive people are. Everyone seems to be living in their own secluded world, where other people's thoughts and situation doesn't count. Selfishness is the word.

Who am I to blame them? I do not have the authority.
How to put the blame on them? They are not in my shoe.
How to make 'em see what I see? People have different point of view in seeing things.

Sometimes, everyone needed their own space to breathe, to think, to be free..I even go to the extend of shutting people out of my world. It didn't help, I couldn't run.

I wonder how people can just forgive and forget, I wish it's as simple as it sounds, because my wound is too deep..


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